Friday, November 10, 2017

29. I'm just waiting for 65 so I can start getting that senior discount.

I had that hip pop from day one.
Hey there. I bet you forgot I existed. 2017 has more than gotten away from me. I blinked my eyes in January and it was already July. I blinked again and it was Halloween. I feel like I missed October as it blended into November when suddenly, everyone asked me what I was going to do for my birthday. Twenty-Nine. Holy hell. I'm entering my final year of my 20s. What does that even mean?

Ask anyone my age or younger and they'll practically have a panic attack thinking about turning 30. I experienced a (former) loved one turning 30 a few years ago. It was a painful experience... For me. You'd think he was told that he was literally going to be murdered on his 30th birthday. No jokes could be made and no mentions of his upcoming age change were allowed to be spoken out loud. It was ridiculous. Turning another year older is this huge fear that people in their 20s seem to have. For me, I quickly panic when I remember that my mother had a house, 2 kids, and a husband by the time she had hit 29. She also was incredibly successful in her job and had her own side business doing hula shows with her best friend (you guys know my mom is a BAMF, right?). Guys. I can barely remember to take my vitamins or take my laundry out of the dryer, how the hell did all these other people get their shit together by 29? Did I miss that part in life? DID I PASS GO?! (Who wants to play monopoly? Does anyone have that cool Harry Potter or Zelda monopoly cause I would 100% be down. Someone please play board games with me.)

Ask anyone older than me and they will tell you how amazing their 30s have been. "30s are the new 20s" or something equally as cliche. I haven't had one person over the age of 30 tell me they wished they were in their 20s again. And let me tell you... I believe them.

I don't even know what to comment on first here. My dad's outfit, my dress, my mullet, those cubby baby arm rolls, the fact that I barely know how to walk but I'm drinking beer?
When you're a teenager, you have this weird knowledge. You're very well aware that you're not an adult yet but you're really pissed off about that fact so you act like you know literally everything about everything. All the time. Therefore, you're the coolest person evvvvvvvver. Except that you're really not and deep down you know that so you over compensate by being a dick (Note: I'd like to take this moment to deeply apologize to any adult who knew teenaged Lauren. I am so sorry you had to deal with the poorly done makeup, bad fashion choices, general emo attitude, and literally my entire existence. Now that I have gotten the opportunity to know teenagers... I am so sorry) Your 20s? That's an entirely different ballpark. Except it's not a different ballpark at all. You just think it is. In fact, it's basically like the Oakland coliseum. Your teenaged years are baseball season at the coliseum and your 20s are football season. It's literally the exact same place, you just made it look different. When you turn 20, you're no longer a ~teenager~. You're a grown up who can make grown up choices. I would rather go back to being a teenager than ever go back to my early 20s. The years of 100% knowing everything because I'm an adult so I know everything you can't treat me like a teenager anymore cause I'm not (Note Take Two: Again, super sorry to anyone who knew early 20s Lauren. My makeup may have been better - fashion still wasn't - but man. So sorry again. I have no idea how any of you are still around). But once you get over the "I know everything and I'll just sit here and roll my eyes at you" phase of your life, you finally start figuring shit out.

I have grown more between the ages of 25 and 29 than I ever have in my entire life. And here's the thing. No one ever tells you about that. No one ever talks about the things you learn during this time of your life. These past 4 years of my life have been the biggest, most insane roller coaster I have ever been on. I fell in love, lost a lot of friends, found a career I really enjoy, had many friends get married, had many friends have babies, grew apart from some people while growing closer to others, had my heart shattered to pieces, grew incredibly cynical and hateful but worked myself out of it, and so much more. My mind boggles when thinking about how much I've changed. If you know me, you know I don't like cliche sayings. "Everything is always changing" blah blah blah bite me. But... I guess cliches are cliches for a reason. You are truly always changing and always becoming a (hopefully) better version of yourself. That's what I've learned you should strive for in your life.

So this is my lifetime movie message to you on my 29th birthday. Don't be afraid of the future. Welcome it. Because you have two choices for tomorrow. You can get older and make the best of your life. Or you can, ya know, be dead. Make your choice.
#tbt #takemeback
"Carpe Diem. Cause tomorrow, you might be dead!" - Buffy Summers (guys, I'm still Lauren)

**For a slightly different change of pace, check out my blog from my 28th birthday where I go over the 28 things I learned in 28 years. They still hold true (still hate Birks).**

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