Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Mr. Robot. "wh1ter0se.m4v"

Anyone else see the parrot? Or is this some bullshit Christian Slater parrot?
  1. Oh PUHLEZE. Darlene is hooking up with a rich guy. Uh-huh.
  2. She's going to have that entire "misunderstood girl" storyline down, isn't she?
  3. I spend 99% of my time with Mr. Robot wondering what the fuck all the female characters are wearing. Who is the stylist on this show and can they be fired?
  4. This rich guy claims to be smart but he "hides" his safe code right next to his safe?
  5. Of course Angela takes a ballet class. And still answers phone calls from her boring ex.
    Darlene's face is all of us right now.
  6. Wait. Do these two girls know each other?
  7. Seeing you is never a silver lining, Darlene.
  8. Secret: I always wanted to be a ballerina.
  9. How many people have concealed weapon on the subway at any given moment? Probably a lot.
  10. I want to theorize who "white rose" is but I've already theorized enough to the internet and APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG.
  11. So nope. Not even going there.
  12. Wait. Elliott and Darlene don't have each others' numbers?
  13. Who hides a handgun in popcorn? If the popcorn box gets too hot...
  14. If Christian Slater was real, wouldn't "white rose" want to speak to him?
  15. YEAH THAT'S WHAT I FREAKING THOUGHT
  16. Theory is back on.
  17. Tyrell is insane. More so than usual. GUESS THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STRANGLE A WOMAN TO DEATH.
  18. All the words Gideon is using... is a "honey pot" an actual term?
  19. "You have our full attention"... except for the phone in my pocket that's not on silent even though I'm in a very important meeting.
  20. Okay but why haven't we heard anything about the dead woman?
  21. Also, if he has his own office, why does he use headphones?
  22. Oh... they JUST now found the body.
    Yeah. You're fucked.
  23. Tyrell isn't being shady af. He's telling the cops to schedule an appointment to talk about a murder? LOL.
  24. Boring ex-boyfriend is still employed?
  25. HEY BRO
  26. That's right. Boring ex-boyfriend is my bro man.
  27. DON'T DO IT ELLIOTT
  28. Why are you taking orders from this douche?
  29. LOLOLOLOL This boring ex-boyfriend LITERALLY works for a security company but he sent an email to his ex-girlfriend that LITERALLY says "THIS ENTIRE HACK WAS YOUR FAULT" hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahaha STOP he cannot be that stupid.
  30. Why are you trying to wash the spilled coffee out with dish soap?
  31. Do they not have Tide where you come from, Mail Order Bride?
  32. Actually... They probably don't. I'm sorry.
  33. Just realized that boring ex-boyfriend's name is Ollie. Hahahaha
  34. Angela just threatened to give up on Elliott. Okay. I'm done with her.
  35. The scenes that Elliott and Angela are in are all incredibly boring.
  36. Not gonna get over how some guy thinks that he's a badass by giving himself the nickname "white rose".
  37. Well damn. White Rose isn't someone we've met before? That would have been a fun twist.
  38. Also, White Rose isn't a dude?
    Did I start watching Breaking Bad?
  39. White Rose is all I want to be in the world though. So blunt. So beautiful.
  40. STILL DON'T KNOW WTF A HONEY POT IS
  41. I LOVE White Rose. Such a bitch.
  42. "We're all living in one anothers paranoia". Accurate.
  43. I literally have the same conversations in my head that Elliott is having right now. He's talking himself into just calming down and making your brain chill instead of constantly be anxious. IS THAT A THING PEOPLE CAN DO?!
  44. Gideon better not die.
  45. But he's too smart to live.
  46. "What the shit" is a phrase that shouldn't be around.
  47. Yeah, it's not hella suspicious that Elliott is the only person not in the room with the entire company while there's a hack by fsociety.
  48. See. Gideon noticed.
  49. He knows dude. 
  50. Can someone please message me and tell me WHAT THE FUCK a honey pot is?!
  51. OH
  52. MY
  53. GOD
  54. TYRELL AND CHRISTIAN SLATER ARE IN IT TOGETHER?!
  55. Welp. I guess there goes my freaking theory.
  56. So is Tyrell like... a good guy?
  57. Obviously not actually good because he's a terrible fucking person.
  58. YEAH TYRELL. The cops will come to you when there was a FUCKING MURDER.
  59. You're so shady.
  60. The mail order bride is so much smarter than her husband.
  61. I mean like. Of course she is.
  62. "I happen to be really smart and good at things. Not like you give a shit." This is why no one likes you, Darlene.
  63. Don't count your chickens, Elliott.
  64. Darlene would be that really annoying chick who yells and screams when she's excited.
  65. Darlene telling Elliott that he's the best person she knows is not like, a real compliment. I feel like she doesn't know many people.
  66. Oh Elliott. You kissed Darlene. Gross.
  67. Wait. What?
  68. I'M SO CONFUSED.
  69. Oh. Oh. Uh. What? Darlene is Elliott's sister?
  70. THAT MEANS THEY DON'T END UP TOGETHER THANK THE LORD
  71. Wow. Elliott...
  72. Oh man. My entire brain is going CRAZY right now. I have so many freaking theories. Holy shit.
  73. I'm buzzing with ideas. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
  74. WHEN HE WAS LOOKING IN THE MIRROR HE SAW CHRISTIAN SLATER MY THEORY IS STILL ON GODDAMMIT
  75. Now Angela and Darlene being friends makes more sense.
  76. Oh hey, Elliott. You don't exist.
  77. Shocking.
  78. Has his dog pooped out that chip yet?
  79. Just wondering.
  80. WHAT
  81. WHAT
  82. OKAY WHAT
  83. One of two things...
  84. Either I was right and Christian Slater and Elliott are the same person cause Elliott is CLEARLY batshit insane
  85. OR
  86. Christian Slater is Elliott's Dad
  87. OOOOOOR
  88. NEW THIRD OPTION
  89. Elliott is still batshit and Christian Slater is a figment of his imagination (and is also his dad).
  90. Fuck.

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