Thursday, January 5, 2017

Mr Robot. "v1ew-s0urse.flv"

I think that I had a mental breakdown during this episode. 

Elliott believes all female stereotypes. Where's the closeted lesbian?
  1. Elliott lives by a dim sum place? Ugh. That's all I would eat.
  2. Can someone get dim sum with me soon?
  3. I almost forgot that Shayla died :(
  4. I'll give you a pass this time, Elliott. You can do the drugs.
  5. Oh great. Another female character that I'm probably going to end up hating.
  6. Wait. Is this a flashback?
  7. What is going on?!
  8. Oh. It's a flashback. Dude. You can't just spring this on me. How could you do this to me?
  9. Elliott is so awkward. Just all the time. So awkward.
  10. I like Shayla. She's adorable. She seems to find the brightest side of everything. Like how Elliott doesn't like people, in general. And her response is that if he doesn't like anyone then when he does like one person, they must be incredible. You are correct, young, flashback, Shayla.
  11. They're playing The Cure for this flashback and that's the ONLY REASON I'm even 1/16th okay with this goddamn flashback.
  12. Elliott thinking about Shayla's death is making me more depressed than I already was. Which I wasn't sure was possible.
  13. I need a happy show next.
  14. "She wants more from me but she doesn't believe in me." AND HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IS THE BASIS OF SO MANY DAMN RELATIONSHIPS AND WHY THEY FAIL.
  15. I should be a damn marriage counselor.
  16. Jk don't listen to me ever.
  17. ELLIOTT JUST SAY THINGS OUT LOUD UGH
  18. I don't want to be a psychologist but I want to like, listen in on sessions? Is that weird?
  19. Lawyer lady is actually going to help. Kinda shocked.
  20. How have I not noticed that Angela has TERRIBLE eyebrows? They're pretty bad.
  21. I always notice eyebrows. I must really hate her.
  22. OH RIGHT. Elliott still actually has a job.
    Gideon is going to die, isn't he?
  23. It's been a while since I saw the inside of this place.
  24. When your boss offers you time off, YOU TAKE IT
  25. I actually like that this boss has given legit, grown up advice during most of this show. He's the only rational human being in the Mr. Robot world. He tells Elliott "find someone you can be your honest self with". This is so beautiful and true.
  26. LOL OF COURSE ELLIOTT HATES THIS ADVICE. You're hopeless, kid.
  27. Awww... President Obama. I'm sad again.
    I blame you, Darlene.
  28. FUCK MY LIFE
  29. WHY IS CHRISTIAN SLATER TALKING TO DARLENE
  30. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME
  31. I HATE THIS SHOW
  32. UGH
  33. FINE
  34. I WAS WRONG OKAY
  35. FUCK
  36. I AM SO MAD ABOUT THIS
  37. I just don't believe that Christian Slater is real. Ugh. 
  38. I hate you, Darlene. This is all your fault.
  39. ANYWAY
  40. Some guys' nickname is "white rose". Why?
  41. Ya know... Darlene is drunk. MAYBE Christian Slater still isn't real. idk.
  42. Awwwww. Elliott made a disc of Shayla and named it after The Cure song that was playing and now I'm sad again.
  43. See Elliott. You have feelings.
  44. Lol cute dog ate some computer part. That's going to be important later.
  45. HEY TYRELL
  46. I feel giddy every time that Tyrell shows up.
  47. Oh. We're being dicks about how a certain type of man thinks that all women sleep with men to get to the top. Classy. 
  48. And about how no one really loves their own children. Cool.
  49. What state does this take place in? Tyrell just fired 3 guys for shits and giggles. 
  50. OH HI CHRISTIAN SLATER. You traitor. 
  51. WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN?! I was hyper aware of no one talking to him. I'm so mad.
  52. The black guy is going to end up dead. Not because he's black but because he knows too much and is trying to walk away.
  53. No, you're the cute kind of crazy, Christian Slater.
  54. Less cute with a gun but still cute. 
  55. "I just want you to come back to the arcade with me so we can change the world together." I'm sure you say that to all the girls. I'd fall for it. 100%
  56. But real talk, arcade dates are the shit. These need to be a thing again.
  57. Why do rich white dudes have to have paintings of themselves on their walls?
  58. Also rich white dudes always believe that money trumps all. Thanks, mom and dad, for not raising me to be a dick.
  59. Angela. You really thought that Colby was going to talk to you and admit all his guilt in this? Cute.
  60. "Hot little thing"? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
    All those books only have tips on how to sexualize women.
  61. Wow. Is it bad that I'm not at all shocked that Colby is asking Angela to "swallow up" his balls?
  62. I was going to repeat the things he was saying but nope. Not worth it. 
  63. The men on this show are kind of disgusting.
  64. Damn Angela. She just demanded respect from this piece of shit. I still do not like her but I now respect her.
  65. AND she got a legit interview with him because of it. You go girl. Do not swallow up his balls.
  66. Does Darlene own pants?
  67. Colby is such a dick. But, I believe him. And while I will never believe that the ends justify the means, I do believe that he has guilt for what he played a part in.
  68. The CTO who chewed out Tyrell is back. With his bombass wife.
  69. So excited for this interaction.
  70. Are you going to watch her pee again, Creep Tyrell?
  71. I can't figure out CTOs wife. Is she trying to flirt with Tyrell or is she a bombass bitch who's trying to fuck with his head? IDK.
  72. Oh yeah. Angela didn't think shit through again. If she testifies that she was the person who outed Colby, the company she works for is going down.
  73. So Tyrell is going to push CTOs wife off the roof, isn't he?
  74. Damn girl. "My husband is down stairs with the job you want and you're up here trying to fuck me."
  75. UGH. She really is flirting. Gross.
  76. Maybe she's going to throw him off the roof?
  77. Oh no. They're just going to have sex. Okay.
  78. JUST KIDDING, he's going to kill her.
  79. Jesus...
  80. Don't piss Tyrell off, people.
  81. The soundtrack says sex scene though.
  82. So my brain is real confused.
    "I wasn't prepared for this. Where is my wife? She's the only one allowed to think in this marriage."
  83. YEAH NOW WHAT TYRELL. NOW WHAT.
  84. Call your wife cause you do not have the balls or brains to figure out what to do next.
  85. Also, your DNA is alllllllllllllll over that woman.
  86. Don't you watch and crime shows?
  87. The Iranian girl (whose name we still don't know) just summed up so many Americans issues. Everyone is drowning in debt because everyone bought into the American dream that if you work hard enough, you're rewarded. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way anymore.
  88. Side note, this girl is insanely beautiful.
  89. LOL boring boyfriend is back. Or ex-boyfriend. Not be confused with my boring ex-boyfriend (you're welcome, Jess).
  90. Boring boyfriend should grow a beard. He might be attractive then. And also not look like he's 18.
  91. Wait. Didn't Elliott leave his therapist?
  92. Dude. Elliott. What are you doing? You're confessing to your therapist that you're STALKING HER.
  93. WHAT ARE YOU DOING
  94. JESUS ELLOT. THIS IS A DREAM RIGHT?
  95. YOU CAN'T JUST TELL PEOPLE THIS SHIT
  96. "I want a way out of loneliness". The amount of times that I relate to Elliott is utterly terrifying.

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