Monday, December 5, 2016

Mr. Robot. "d3bug"

I'd say we should just jump in, but I'm going to provide a disclaimer for you real quick. If you have not seen Fight Club, turn away now. Actually, just get out of my life because WHO ARE YOU. If you have seen Fight Club and you have also seen Mr. Robot... I hope I'm right and you know EXACTLY what I'm getting at.

I will use any excuse to put this photo on my blog.
  1. Of course Tyrell is that douche who runs shirtless.
  2. My ex-boyfriend did that. That should be enough explanation.
  3. Tyrell is married? Weird.
  4. Is this a beard marriage or a green card marriage?
  5. His conversation with himself to practice his fight for his promotion is odd. And it gets more odd when he slaps himself. Twice.
  6. Tyrell doesn't speak to receptionists? Shocking.
  7. Oh it's that douche from Smash! I liked that show.
  8. Awwwww. Please don't make me feel bad for Tyrell, like he's actually a human being with feelings or something.
  9. Sad Tyrell is sad.
    ... Hands of blue?
  10. ... Or he's going to fucking MURDER SOMEONE
  11. Holy shit. This man is a fucking horrible person. He actually pays homeless people to let him kick his ass. Seriously? This is disgusting.
  12. Ignore every single thing I said about feeling bad for Tyrell. He's worse than the piece of shit I flushed down the toilet this morning. 
  13. I'm so incredibly angry right now. I get that this is fake but now I'm realizing that there are actually human beings out there that might actually be doing this. 
  14. Fuck you, Tyrell
  15. Now I need to calm the hell down. I better not have to watch that shit again.
  16. *deep breathing*
  17. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH Elliott is in the hospital? How long was that drop?
  18. Lol his neighbor he bones and his psychologist (that he wants to bone?) are both there when he wakes up. But not boring Angela who he's in love with.
  19. His neighbor is his emergency contact? Why?
  20. I love how honest Elliott is.
  21. He is asked, point blank, why he's taking morphine and his response is, "I don't have a good enough reason. I wish I did. But I don't." Thank you for your honesty.
  22. Wait. A hospital only has a $7k budget for security? That seems really small. And dumb.
  23. Yesssssss. Elliott chooses his hospital based on how shitty their IT department is so he can hack it and change all his medical records. Smart man.
  24. His neighbor is mad because her dealer is in jail... Can we get her into rehab, please?
  26. Ugh. I also hope that Elliott doesn't end up with stupid hacker girl.
  28. I'm going to have an anxiety attack until I see his dog
  29. Hahahaha what a dumbass Angela is. She picked up a clearly FEMALE wallet on the ground that was just dropped by a running man who looked sketchy as fuck and she gave it to him. 
    Totes isn't a robber.
  30. LOL boring boyfriend is overcompensating right now
  31. He's going to get SO CAUGHT in this episode
  32. Oh I love the mix tape guy hella blackmailing boring boyfriend guy
  33. Elliott talking about how he feels about humanity is my life.
  34. This boss guy is so weird. He seems shady... Something is up. My spider sense is tingling.
  35. Dude.
  36. Dude.
  37. DUDE.
  38. Now I'm starting to think that Christian Slater isn't real.
  39. WAIT.
  40. Is Elliott actually the "lead" of fsociety?!
    Super manly drink for a super manly man.
  42. Lol I have to stop this sudden realization to point out that Christian Slater is drinking an apple martini
  43. I love this
  45. The bartender is ONLY talking to Elliott
  46. Holy. Shit.
  47. HOLY. SHIT.
  48. Christian Slater isn't real.
  50. If I'm wrong, Jessica is going to give me so much shit for so long
  51. Ugh this makes so much more sense than if Christian Slater was real.
  52. My mind is buzzing way too much right now
  53. Lol fsociety is so not over. Good try.
  54. "I'll heart things on instagram. I'll drink Vanilla Lattes." I LOVE that this is Elliott's "normal" world.
  55. Elliott, us introverts should not try to socialize. This is going to end badly.
  56. Only good music choice so far - Steal my Sunshine by Len
  57. Oooooooooo that mix tape guy wants access to the security company that everyone in this series works for?
  58. Oooooooooooo so Tyrell's marriage is a beard marriage, yeah?
  59. Don't you DARE hit your pregnant wife. This show has enough serious issues with women.
  60. "Us is me". Ugh. I hope Tyrell gets hit by a bus and dies slowly.
  61. The neighbor chick is standing up for herself?!
  63. Don't give this huge speech and then fall for his shit. Boys are deceptive af.
  64. Oh look. Everyone isn't simply what they post online. Shocking.
  65. Okay. Maybe I'm starting to like neighbor chick a little. I should probably try to learn her name now.
  66. "Don't let me down, okay?" KISS. OF. DEATH. Jesus. Do you not even know guys?
  67. Oh maybe Tyrell isn't gay. He's trying to get "in" with the assistant of that guy?
  68. "I think you're beautiful. I want to take you home." Pretty sure that's what Jeffery Dahmer said.
  69. Oh boring Angela is SUUUUUUUPER not happy that Elliott has a girlfriend.
  70. Awkward.
  71. Where the fuck does his boss live? A dungeon?
  72. I mean, I love it. But it's still weird.
  73. AHHHHH IT'S JUSTIN FROM QUEER AS FOLK!! I miss him. I'm so happy to see he's still adorable.
  74. Why do people always ask couples how long they've been together. Like, that is none of your business. That also doesn't quantify how "in love" they are. I've seen better couples who have been together for 2 months who know one another better than couples who have been together for 10 years.
  75. Poor 7th wheel dude.
  76. I feel your pain.
  77. Gideon is searching more into fsociety?
  78. "Shit. I'm gonna have to let him hug me, aren't I?" HAHAHAHAH I love you, Elliott
  79. lol Elliott you ditched your new girlfriend for boring Angela?
  80. Running away is still fun, Angela. It just sucks when you have to come back. Especially when you have a douchy boyfriend.
  81. Of course fsociety held onto the big stuff
  82. OMG Evil Corp is the REASON that Elliott's dad got leukemia? That's so messed up.
  83. Still think it's hilarious that their name actually is Evil Corp though.
  85. Elliott's mom is pretty harsh. Don't be so mean about a father's death to his son. Have a little sympathy.
  86. She's psychotic
  87. I can't tell if Tyrell is pretending to be gay to get in with this guy or if he actually is gay
  88. Ugh. Boring boyfriend is way too much right now.
  89. lol he's making her moms death about how he wants to talk. Klassy.
  91. Oh good, at least she's gonna break up with this guy so I won't have to put up with him anymore.
  92. Okay. She's actually pretty smart.
  93. I'm now really happy my computer doesn't have a CD drive.
  94. Oh lol she's not actually breaking up with him?
  95. Nevermind. She's not as smart as I just said. I take back everything nice I've ever said about her. She's dumb.
  96. Oh no. There's proof that Elliott knew about fsociety?
  97. or did they frame him?
  98. Hahaha Tyrell's "wife" is just waiting on the bed so he can come home and have sex with her? Is this a requirement from him? Or her?
  99. Their relationship is SO weird.
  100. Who is this woman?
  101. She is the most demanding submissive person I've ever seen.
  102. Finally, someone is playing skeeball. That's all I've been waiting for.
  103. I am now HYPER AWARE of the fact that no one talks to Christian Slater
  104. And everyone kind of treats Elliott like a leader.

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