Thursday, December 29, 2016

Mr. Robot. "br4ve-trave1er.asf"

I'm crying just looking at this.
  1. Looking at some pieces of art makes me realize that I should really make my own art and sell it to people. For a lot of money.
  2. Wait. Shayla is alive?! Oh good.
  3. So awesome that not a single person in that restaurant reacts to Shayla being kidnapped. It's terrifying that this is reality. It's like the final episode of Seinfeld.
  4. In this episode, Elliott learns that actions have consequences.
  5. How does this drug guy still look high af? Can you also get drugs in jail? What exactly can you NOT get in jail?
  6. Hopefully Angela isn't doing research on her work computer. Use your framed ex-boyfriend's computer. He hasn't been fired yet.
  7. Wonder what's on those USBs -insert eye roll here-
  8. Does anyone on this show have any compassion? Or intelligence?
  9. "Oh your mom died? Boo fucking hoo." Actual line from the show.
  10. And this is why I couldn't be a lawyer. You can defend a repeat rapist but you won't take on a legitimate case because there's no money in it and/or it's dangerous. Okay.
  11. Wow. Clueless cop is clueless. These guys have less brains then Rosewood PD (shameless Pretty Little Liars reference is shameless, I know).
  12. Phishing scams are funny because it takes a moron to actually fall for it and you totes deserve it.
  13. YOU WON A FREE PRIZE
  14. like lol okay
  15. They planted those USBs but didn't have something to override the system when the system said "HI THIS ISN'T SAFE PLEASE DON'T DO THE THING YOU'RE DOING." Okay.
  16. Oh NOW the lawyer is a nice lady who wants to talk? Doubtful.
  17. What a boring bookshelf. They're all basically the same book. This is how I know you don't read.
  18. Another reason I couldn't be a lawyer.
  19. So every guy at Tyrell's company has bad hair. They probably have a company discount at a barber shop.
  20. I don't think anyone on this show is comfortable around Tyrell. So maybe everyone thinks he's creepy.
  21. HAHAHAHAHA the husband knows about Tyrell's little incident in the bathroom with the wife.
  22. I like this guy.
  23. YOU TELL TYRELL
  24. Now you're calling his wife a liar? Bold move. Bad move, but also bold.
  25. DAYYYYYYUM this new CTO is ripping Tyrell a new asshole. I do approve of being mean to Tyrell. I have double standards, okay?
  26. Angela is HELLA annoying. Who just comes over to someone's house? This is why cell phones were created. 
  27. I love how Tyrell's wife just eats while he throws his temper tantrum. Like, "Whatevs, dude." I like her.
    Say no to plastic surgery, kids.
  28. I also like when wives get to be like, "I was right", CAUSE THEY ALWAYS ARE.
  29. I don't even have a wife nor am I one, and I know that they're always right.
  30. Side note, LOVE his kitchen that he probably never uses.
  31. His wife is on top of this shit. She's a badass. Please don't make me hate her.
  32. Angela "needs" Elliott's approval. Ugh. Get over yourself.
    "I don't want to be with you but I want you to be in love with me forever."
  33. Whoa. Let's not let Shayla die though. I like her.
  34. Christian Slater is right though. Everyone is going to die if Elliott helps the drug dealer and everyone is going to die if he doesn't help the drug dealer.
  35. How have I not noticed how much I like Christian Slater's glasses?
  36. Probably cause his beautiful face was distracting me.
    -insert heart eye emoji here-
  37. You really think that A. Elliott would have Drake and/or Pitbull and B. That Drake and/or Pit bull is considered good music over Tom Petty and Pink Floyd? No.
  38. "Bitch boy"? Oh little Buffy extra. I remember you. You were a big baby who no one liked and your only friend was Dawn. That says a lot about a person.
  39. How about you don't draw attention to yourself, dude? Don't act super psyched about something cause when everyone gets set free from prison, they'll know something is up.
    If I stand up and scream, excitedly, about how someone is going to break me out of prison, no one will suspect me, yeah?
  40. Stop saying that the universe has something planned. That's super untrue. You're forcing this shit. That is not the universe speaking.
  41. Damn Elliott. You are good. (Almost) always one step ahead.
  42. What does "hug" really mean to this guy?
  43. You're going to Terry Colby? Bold move, Angela.
  44. Oh. You just stood there and said nothing. Okay.
  45. But we did get a close up of the ankle monitor so that's going to be important later.
  46. Oooooooo the brother doesn't want his drug dealing bro in the world.
  47. Probably a valid choice.
  48. At least these guys are rapists. That's nice.
  49. "Just wasn't your day, bro". What? Why does this family think that the universe is talking when they're really the ones doing the talking?
  50. Hacking is way too number reliant.
  51. This is why I could never be a hacker.
  52. I could write a book about it though.
  53. Or a blog.
  54. I'm hilarious.
  55. Elliott is fixated on "making moves". This isn't a game of chess. This is real life. And Shayla's life is LITERALLY in your hands.
  56. No one seems to want this guy out of jail.
  57. "Boy wonder"? Better than "bitch boy", I guess.
  58. I highly doubt you could hear the cell doors opening from OUTSIDE this huge secure facility.
  59. Are there really guard dogs at prisons?
  60. You'd think it'd be a lot harder to break out of prison.
  61. Hollywood magic.
  62. "This shit tastes better than any pussy I ever had". Judging by your lifestyle, I'll make an educated guess that the women you sleep with aren't very upstanding citizens who take care of themselves. So this statement isn't really fantastic. That's like saying, "This is better than being in math class" because literally everything is better than being in math class.
  63. Also, you seem like that asshole who expects blow jobs but wouldn't ever eat a girl out so I highly doubt you've even tasted pussy.
  64. Why are you guys just standing around? LET'S GET GOING
  65. Oh shit. Drug guy had his own brother killed. This family is fucked up.
  66. Oh no.
  67. Oh no.
  68. Oh no.
  69. Shayla's in the trunk isn't she?
  70. Fuck
  71. Fuck
  72. I hope she's not dead
  73. Oh god. she's dead, isn't she?
  74. I hate this show.
  75. I hate this show so much.
  76. SHE WAS JUST GETTING HER LIFE TOGETHER
  77. UGH
  78. Why didn't you kill off Darlene instead?
  79. Get out of there. Elliott. Get out of there right now.
  80. This show is depressing. I need an upper after watching this next time.

No comments:

Post a Comment