Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Mr. Robot. "ones-and-zer0es"

Let's jump right in.

  1. This Tyrell guy says "bonsoir" like it's a legitimate thing Americans do
  2. Tyrell's hair really bothers me. It's like a side mullet thing.
  3. "Annoying lawyers". Isn't that an oxymoron?
  4. Of course they'r asking Elliot to join their team. That's what they always do. Has anyone seen Anti Trust?
  5. He's gonna take it, isn't he?
  6. I like this whole "round table King Arthur" thing
  7. Okay so they are REALLY names Evil Corp?
  8. "What's the word in English?" Oh please, don't be a douche, you're American.
  9. Uh oh Elliot. You done fucked up.
  10. Still unsure about these music choices
  11. Is he gonna super hero the girl he sometimes sleeps with?
  12. He is. What a nice guy!
  13. Oh this guy harassing her was in a car with 3 other guys? What a sleezeball.
  14. I FORGOT HE STOLE THE DOG! So cute. I hope it doesn't die.
  15. Ugh. He's not really hacking Tyrell is he? We all know it's a trap.
  16. Yes he knew, dumbass. Yes he was waiting for you, moron. Omg. What a n00b.
  17. I'm legitimately so embarrassed for Elliot right now. Like come on. Tyrell and his buddies are high fiving over bud lights right now. Jesus.
  18. So dumb. I cannot.
  19. I promise that within that second, he already totally knows everything about you, Elliot.
  20. Start fires. Do drugs. Good plans.
  21. Yay! You got a raise, Eillot. Except of course, there's strings attached.
  22. "You're never sure about anything until there is something to be sure about." What?
  23. Oh shhhhhhhheeeeet. Gideon knows about fsociety. And they have way more information than they ever said.
  24. IS CHRISTIAN SLATER A BAD GUY?!
  25. lol I see you tried a 4chan type of mask/reveal 
    If Colonel Sanders and Guy Fawkes had a baby.
  26. Wait. Fsociety actually does seem really awful. You chose the wrong side, dude.
  27. "Please buy my new cd. It'll only cost you 20 likes." Oh how meta of you.
  28. Ew weird boyfriend and girl I don't like are back
  29. "Hey wanna be our 3rd wheel?"
  30. No
  31. Stop that, couples
  32. Just stop
  33. Oh god. Now we're talking about twitter followers? I'm hoping they're doing this to show how ridiculous society is. Then again, I feel like the morons who actually talk about twitter with other people aren't intelligent enough to watch this show, so there's that.
  34. #sorrynotsorry
  35. Is Christian Slater in your shower? Or is that just my fantasy?
  36. Dammit. No. It's the annoying hacker chick.
    The outfit screams "I totes don't care what you think about me, dude."
  37. "My dress has cum stains on it." Wow.
  38. Oh. It was a joke? Okay... Sure.
  39. lol Elliot has zero tact
  40. Hacker chick is dating a guy and he proposes to her so now she hates him?
  41. Blah blah blah a bitter ass chick who doesn't believe in love blah blah blah
  42. We've hit all our bases on stereotypical woman casting
  43. We have the boring, but cute girl that our leading man is in love with but she'll never openly be with him, she just loves the idea of him being in love with her.
  44. A drug addicted sexually open woman who is in love with the leading man, but he'll never love her, just have sex with her.
  45. A "bad ass" chick who's been done wrong by a man before and she no longer believes in love. She'll probably end up with the leading man at some point.
  46. "Does she see them too?" WAIT ARE WE NOT SURE THAT THESE MEN IN BLACK ARE REAL?!
  47. IS TYRELL REAL
  48. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK
  49. Oh man. If have to listen to this annoying Hacker Chick anymore, I'll kill myself.
  50. YAS CHRISTIAN SLATER IS BACK
  51. Annnnnnnd everyone is underestimating Tyrell. Bad move.
  52. I do like that Elliot has a moral compass. It's refreshing.
  53. Christian Slater is explaining things using popcorn. I only love this because I love him.
  54. Ooooooh buuuurn. Christian Slater called Elliot a "zero".
  55. Uh oh. Neighbors door is open. Bad news.
  56. She's dead isn't she
  57. She's totally dead
  58. Don't do meth kids
  59. OH THE DOG IS ALIVE OKAY GOOD
  60. That's really all I care about
  61. She's either dead or currently being gang banged
  62. Why does my head go to these places?
  63. I think I need professional help
  64. EATADICK6969 is both the best and worst password ever
  65. Also, of course his username is "bigpapi"
  66. I think he contacted me on OkCupid
  67. He pays for porn?
  68. What a n00b
  69. And he tweets about his crimes?! Why are people so dumb?!
    He texts "wyd" at midnight and if you don't respond, he shoots you. NBD.
  70. I've tried to react to this meth heads ramblings but it just makes me sad so I'm gonna just not
  71. Oh eh totes killed her
  72. Meth heads really have the worst rants
  73. "That girl in there is mine." The feminist in me has her claws out.
  74. "It's a smart time to be scared bro, and a stupid time." Whoa, so insightful meth-head bro.
  75. This show says bro way too often
  76. Oh. Neighbor lady is still alive? That's nice. Maybe he does really love her (probably not).
  77. "We smoked a little". You should probably not smoke random shit with random guys who are that chauvinistic.
  78. All the women in this show are walking PSAs
  79. Don't sleep at her place, Elliot
  80. Ugh. He's gonna get his ass beat.
  81. LET'S TAKE HIM DOWN
  82. This guy is like Dexter but he doesn't murder people
  83. I guess that's better?
  84. "How do we know that we're in control. That we're not just making the best of what comes at us." This is called "life", sweetheart.
  85. McDonalds or Burger King? Bitch, it's always McDonalds. Those fries? Mmmmm.
  86. This is a depressing chat about how we really have no control in our lives
  87. Oooooo no. Psychologist! Don't make parallels between father and son.
  88. I love that he names his files with music. So good.
  89. Oh there's something in his radiator!!
  90. hahahahah the rapper totally made his cds a sort of virus so that he can hack into peoples' computers. Genius.
  91. I obviously don't know anything about hacking though
  92. lol boring girls boyfriend is such a bad liar. And he left his computer open. The same computer he just received messages about going to go sleep with another girl on.
  93. Gross. First pedophilia, then voyeurism. I guess that's better?
  94. Is rapper guy watching this girl take a shower while sitting on his computer at a library?
  95. Brave move.
  96. And now he's communicating with some Asian people? I'm so confused.
    He can read shitty poetry to me any day.
  97. Christian Slater would be that weirdo who reads poetry out loud
  98. Why is everyone so curious about Elliots dad? We already know that Evil Corp had something to do with it.
  99. Or at least I assume since everyone keeps talking about his damn father.
  100. Awwww your dad was your BFF?
  101. That's sad.
  102. Of course he got fired from Evil Corp. This is where it all starts.
  103. Your dad "accidentally" pushed out out of a WINDOW
  104. Dude. That's some fucked up shit.
  105. HAHAHAHAHAHAH Christian Slater just pushed you off the balcony. Okay.
    What all guys think when they talk to a girl. Juuuuuuuuuuust kidding.
- so I can sigh eternally -

 lauren.

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