Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Mr. Robot. "hello_friend".

Have you guys heard of a show called "Mr.Robot"? If not, you should totally go figure out a way to watch it, even if you have to buy it on iTunes. After prodding from my two co-workers (Thanks, Angela and Juliana!), I finally started this show. I feel like there's going to be insane twists and a ton of mind blown moments. I figured documenting this would be entertaining. I'm going to try to post 2 reactions a week, until I get caught up. Then I'll post once a week, soon after the last episode aired. 



I shouldn't have to say this... But I will...

SPOILER ALERTS!

  1. Okay. Let's get this started.
  2. Yeah. "Hello Friend" is lame. Who does that?
  3. The narrator thinks he's crazy because he talks to himself? ... What does that say about me?
  4. God, I love paranoid, socially awkward geeks.
  5. The goatee on this man is annoying me. Just grow a beard.
  6. The leading man in this show is not cute? But he is cute? But he's not cute? I don't understand what I'm feeling.
  7. He's also so socially awkward. This isn't how most people interact.
  8. lol. "I like your wifi". Pick up lines in the 21st century.
  9. "That's when I decided to hack you." Not okay dude.
  10. Oh nevermind, it's okay because this guy is a pedo. Gross.
  11. I LOVE THE LEADING MAN
  12. YOU TAKE DOWN THE PEDOS
  13. That's not what this whole show is about, right? Cause I don't think I can emotionally take a show about catching pedos.
  14. "I didn't hurt anyone." YES YOU DID YOU LOOK AT PHOTOS OF NAKED CHILDREN
  15. "I'm very different too... I mean, I don't jerk off to little kids" Good to know, leading man (still don't know his name)
  16. Oooooooooo he's on a revenge kick for his dad's death. 
  17. This pedo is either real smart or real dumb for trying to black mail the black mailer
  18. Oh dang. Leading man don't play no games, he already called the cops on this pedo.
  19. The font for Mr. Robot reminds me of something... someone tell me what it's from, kthanx
  20. OH HEY CHRISTIAN SLATER
    I'd so still bang you.
  21. Why is he still so attractive?
  22. DON'T. JUDGE. ME.
  23. Just remembered that this leading guy is going to play Freddie Mercury in a new bio pic. Not sure how I feel about that.
  24. This is the most boring looking office ever.
  25. Ew. Dress codes. That's a thing?
  26. Angela is either in love with him or she's just a crazy beezy.
  27. I apologize for "beezy."
  28. Or our leading man is in love with Angela.
  29. I hope they don't get together. I kind of already don't like her.
    See how boring she looks?
  30. "Yo buddy". Why are boyfriends so awkward.
  31. No one can stand you, boyfriend of girl I don't like.
  32. Maybe that's why you two are together.
  33. So is this guy like Sherlock if Sherlock were a hacker? Then again, isn't Sherlock kind of like a... mind hacker? I'll show myself out.
  34. This guys stalking skills puts mine to shame. He should teach me.
  35. FUCK SOCIETY
  36. I love this guy.
  37. This psychologist blows. Elliott, you don't have to talk to anyone.
  38. "What is it about society that disappoints you?" UM EVERYTHING
  39. He's totally not taking his meds
  40. BRO HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND
  41. "I'm okay with it being awkward between us." Lawl. Same.
  42. Office romances are soooooooooo ridiculous.
  43. Of course office boyfriend likes Maroon 5 and he said "I love you" for the first time on gChat. He probably plays frisbee too.
  44. "I like you, bro". If he says "bro" one more time...
  45. Does this guy die? Is this a show where people die? I hope so. But not Christian Slater.
  46. "He's too dumb to be bad". Literally what I think about 90% of the people I interact with on a daily basis.
  47. Did his dad work for these Evil Corp people? I'm thinking yes.
  48. Tyrell? He looks like a vampire. But not the hot kind.
    He used to be in a boy band, which is why he looks so bitter now.
  49. I DON'T TRUST THIS MAN
  50. HE'S BAD NEWS
  51. IS HE A ROBOT?
  52. ... Is everyone a robot?
  53. He's only "not empty" because of his pet fish that he named qwerty. Tha's cute and sad all at the same time.
  54. Awwwwww he's crying but he has no one to talk to and this is awful
  55. Oh. Just 30ml of morphine a day. NBD.
  56. And this is what happens when you do molly, kids
  57. jk
  58. kinda
  59. This techy guy has a smashed phone screen? Come on.
  60. Wait who is he stalking? Is this the psychologist?
  61. Why?
  62. Is he in love with her too?
  63. Do cab companies really just give out peoples' addresses? And if he's such a great tech wizard, doesn't he already have this guys' address?
  64. DON'T BE A DICK TO A DOG. THEY DO NOT PEE ON COMMAND. IF YOU WANT A DOG, YOU NEED TO MAKE THE DAMN COMMITMENT WHICH MEANS LONG POTTY BREAKS, JERKFACE
  65. I'm done. Thanks. Be nice to dogs, folks.
  66. It's totally Christian Slater who's hacking Evil Corp, isn't it?
  67. "Fingerblasting". lol.
  68. "It's like a crazy serial rapist with a big dick" hahahhahaha I love socially awkward people
  69. Server farms? Is that where they grow servers? This wasn't on FarmVille.
  70. I understand if you stop reading now.
  71. I feel like everything they're doing isn't actually this easy in real life.
  72. He'll leave it, won't he?
  73. "NO ONE WILL KNOW"
  74. Famous last words
  75. "Did you know that I'm gay?" Okay.
  76. This whole gay conversation is really awkward and random
  77. Did you run out of things to write about so you made this scene?
  78. I like the boss guys' old man sweater though
  79. I also like his glasses... Am I actually an old dude?
  80. When a homeless looking dude tells you to get off the subway with him, you should totes do it.
  81. I told you Christian Slater was the hacker.
  82. Why does everyone on this show talk about their dads within 3 minutes of meeting one another?
  83. "Bamboozled". This is a word that should be used more often.
  84. Into the mind of a scammer: If you can catch me, I go to jail. If you can't, I earned the money.
  85. As a Senior Fraud Associate, I hate everything you just said.
  86. As a person, I can't argue with that logic
  87. Coney Island looks like this scary magical wonderland where children get kidnapped by clowns.
  88. No secret knock? So anyone can come into hack territory?
  89. A hacking center in the middle of an arcade? I kind of really love this and I want to be part of this world?
    Hack some. Play some skee ball.
  90. "Do you wanna get high and watch your favorite movie?" Yes, that's what friends do.
  91. With or without your lame boyfriend though?
  92. lol you left the naked chick in your bed? Awkward.
  93. You can't have your lame boyfriend and your hacker best friend (who's in love with you), blondie
  94. Oh right. I forgot that Elliott was a good guy! He's gonna turn that society in!
  95. I mean, probably not but let's just play along
  96. Ugh. This hacker chick is annoying too. Are there any well written female characters on this show?
  97. Those Ferris Wheels that move and plummet you towards the water... those are the worst.
  98. "You do that, you'll set in motion the largest revolution the world has ever seen." NO PRESSURE!
  99. Okay but are they ACTUALLY called "Evil Corp"?
  100. The music in this show has been real odd.
  101. Ew. Evil Corp guy is a douche. He actually doesn't want a woman working with him? What year is this set in?
  102. Oh no. Tyrell noticed Elliott acting shady
  103. Shocking. The government did nothing to bring down the 1%
  104. OMG THE SOCIETY IS GONE?! I'm confused. Did he dream all this? Is he actually insane?!
  105. Daaaaang. The way he's able to crack passwords is kind of genius
  106. Dude, he is legit stalking his psychologist.
  107. How does a man, who has a baby, a dog, and a wife, still have time for multiple girlfriends? I'm equal parts disgusted and impressed. Teach me your time management skills, dude!
  108. lol he took the dog! Good. That guy was a dick.
  109. The song he made as the asshole married person is my parents wedding song lol
  110. Why is Angela being such a bitch?
  111. Because he stuck up for his friend and coworker? Cool.
  112. Don't kiss him in front of all your coworkers AND your boyfriend
  113. OH HECK YEAH FBI DID SOMETHING RIGHT
  114. Times Square looks like a real awful place to be
  115. Uh oh. the men in black got him?
  116. Where are you, Christian Slater?!
  117. Oh look. It's evil Tyrell. I told you so.
  118. Final note: what did married man tell his wife about the dog? Cause if my husband gave away my dog with zero explanation, I'd divorce and/or kill him.

- so I can sigh eternally -

 lauren.

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