Monday, January 11, 2016

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."

**I want to preface this with the fact that I'm not much for reacting to celebrity deaths. For me, they're just people. And people die. It's a horrible consequence of mortality, but it happens. This time, it's personal and I needed to write something to try and deal with this terrible news.**

I have already mentioned how 2016 blows. I've had two very personal blows, including Harley's declining vision and a family matter. That's all within the first nine days of two-thousand and sixteen. I've had to remind myself that dogs get old a hell of a lot faster than people do. I've had to curse cancer, in many forms. If this is how 2016 is going to roll, I'll just skip ahead to 2017 if none of you mind too much...

David Bowie. I don't even think I can put into words what David Bowie means to this world. I can barely put into words what Bowie means to me. I can say that we never deserved a talent like David Bowie. Ever. And we will never deserve the things that he has brought to this world. There will never be anyone like David Bowie again.

Let's start with how I became acquainted with Mr. Jones. When my parents met one another, my dad had a dog that he had gotten as a bachelor. A purebred Golden Retriever named Ziggy. Well, Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars was her legal name. We just called her Ziggy. Adults were alway impressed that I not only knew who David Bowie was but also knew all about the Spiders from Mars. David Bowie was a household name for our house. Before I could walk (or even talk), I had Labyrinth memorized. And I had a HUGE crush on Jareth, the Goblin King (don't judge me).

Labyrinth is my all time favorite movie. So much so that I have a Labyrinth tattoo on my left shoulder blade. When I was in 6th grade, I had a sleepover birthday party. I was so excited because I was going to show everyone Labyrinth. I was really shocked that no one had seen this movie (or even heard of David Bowie). My entire being wanted to disintegrate when each one of my "friends" got bored 15 minutes into the movie and begged for Mr. Deeds to be put on instead. I didn't know if I wanted to punch all of them or cry in a corner. I did neither. I vaguely remember sulking in the kitchen while eating Funfetti frosting off of a spoon. I knew I was an odd duck, but I think that was the confirming moment.

So here it is. This is what David Bowie taught me. He taught me that just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean you should. He taught me that someone has to be the weird kid because without the people who think differently, the world can never move forward. He taught me that just because it's different, doesn't mean that it's wrong. He taught me that just because you want to wear something that isn't your current "look" doesn't mean that it's not "you" because there could be multiple you's inside of you. If you want to rock something, rock it so hard no one can talk shit about you. David Bowie was my very first Celebrity Crush. He was the first guy I looked at and went, "Oh heeeeeeeeeeeey, can I get yo' numba?" (no, that didn't happen because I was like, 5 and I'm pretty sure I just thought he was "dreamy" and wanted him to adopt me). His constant changing in the way his music sounded always kept me on my toes. Sometimes, I didn't understand what he was doing, but I loved it nonetheless. Because it's David Bowie.

Buy the poster of this for yourself AND for me

That's what he taught me. He taught the world so many different things. Things that I mentioned above, things that I don't understand, and things that are so natural to the world now, that we didn't even know we needed to learn it. He also changed how masculinity is seen. Senior year of high school (circa 2005-2006), I found out that one of my very good friends, Hannah, had never heard of David Bowie (I almost broke off our friendship). Even in high school, I still wanted Bowie to adopt me or I wanted to have his babies (I was really confused). I finally wore a t-shirt into rehearsals for the play. This one to be exact. Hannah's immediate reaction? "That's David Bowie? HE LOOKS LIKE A GIRL!" Well, yeah. You're not wrong, Hannah.

David Bowie is a death I never thought I would ever have to deal with. I thought he'd outlive every single person on this planet, because he doesn't have to worry about mortality like us mere humans. I didn't think I would ever live in a world where David Bowie wasn't alive and making music.

There's so much more that I want to write. My heart is so incredibly heavy today. I pray for everyone. I pray heaviest for David Bowie's friends and family, in this time of loss. But I also pray for the world because we lost a genuine talent and genius. I feel honored to have been living at the same time as this beautiful creature.

Above is his latest album. It was released a few days ago. He wrote this while battling cancer and this album was his final gift to the world. Who does that? David. Fucking. Bowie. That's who. Take a listen. It's weird and out there and absolutely wonderful.

 - so I can sigh eternally -


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